Before I landed in London, I made a promise to myself that I would behave like a tourist one day of the week. To me this meant walking around with a map and my camera gawking at the things I had only seen on television or in the movies...trying to play it cool when I round a corner and suddenly there's Big Ben or the London Eye or whatever.
So yesterday I kept my promise to myself and went to the National Portrait Gallery. I would understand that this is place that probably wouldn't be very high on many people list of priorities when coming to London. But I thought "I have a year. What the hell." I like art. I do. I'm not a great lover of it by any stretch of the imagination but I appreciate beautiful and well done things. I spent about an hour and half there lingering over the portraits of people I'd actually heard of and glancing at the rest. The gallery had portraits of everyone from Henry VIII (and his many, many wives) to Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots, to Charles and Diana and a rather interesting rendering of Elizabeth II by Andy Warhol. The newest addition to the royal family portraits was the portrait of Princes William and Harry unveiled just last year. All in all, an extraordinary place to visit but I wouldn't necessarily go to again.
10.10.2010
8.14.2010
Weddings and Perfect Mondays
Third wedding in a month. While each hold their own special place in my heart, this one was by far the most fun. A DJ with superior taste in music and an open bar - what more could you really wish for? I was three glasses of Chardonnay in and mouthing the words to the Righteous Brothers when I realized, 'Oh my God, I want this'.
I'm so happy for my cousin. He and his new wife deserve this happiness. Just as I was completely, deliriously happy for my friend, I'm the same way for his wonderful, sweet guy. They truly deserve each other and while I don't know them as well as I wish I did, I believe that they will last.
Mondays are never perfect. They suck. They're Mondays and that's what they do. Suck. But last Monday was perfect for one reason: a phone call from the US embassy in London.
I'm so happy for my cousin. He and his new wife deserve this happiness. Just as I was completely, deliriously happy for my friend, I'm the same way for his wonderful, sweet guy. They truly deserve each other and while I don't know them as well as I wish I did, I believe that they will last.
Mondays are never perfect. They suck. They're Mondays and that's what they do. Suck. But last Monday was perfect for one reason: a phone call from the US embassy in London.
7.29.2010
Growing Up
I admit that I don't feel very grown up. It doesn't help that I still could pass for a high schooler in terms of looks. I'm mature (most of the time) and have always thought myself to be a very level-headed and focused. But that in no way implies that I feel grown up. I don't have my own place. I don't have a job with many responsibilities or potential for advancement. I don't have a relationship with a guy (saying 'man' makes me feel weird, like I'd be dating a forty year-old). I don't have any real responsibilities in my life. In a way, I like it. In a way, I hate it. I'd say I'm about 80% grown up. Tonight, though, I feel as if I grew up a little more and I think I know why.
7.26.2010
Sold A Bill of Goods and Becoming Fearless
I was told from the time I entered kindergarten that I had to get a college degree. It wasn't an option. I had to get one. So I did. And frankly, fat lot of good it's done me. $40,000 over four years for a $12/hour job.
My generation, perhaps more than any other, was sold one expensive bill of goods. We were all told this: "Go to college, get a good job. Earn money. Everything will be fine." No it's not. Or maybe it's because I majored in something I actually liked and not something that bored me out of my mind. I had a friend who majored in something that would guarantee her a good job. That's all well and good but she wasn't happy with it. It wasn't what she wanted to do or enjoyed. It didn't make her excited. It made her stressed. She has a good job now but I can't tell you if she will be happy in the long run. That's something she'll have to determine.
Stupidly, I majored in something that I loved. Something that made me excited to go to class, to write papers, to discuss and debate. It was a sensible major, one that conceivably get me a job after earning a master's degree. So I guess we'll see about that in a year. But am I happy with my decision five years after I made it? By and large, I think I'm not. I'm not because it was safe. That doesn't negate the fact that I enjoyed studying what I did or cause me to enjoy it any less because I still do like politics and international relations but truth be told, if I had it to do over again and was fearless in the face of job prospects I wouldn't have majored in it. I would have followed my gut instinct and said "I want to be a writer". And an English major I would have become.
My generation, perhaps more than any other, was sold one expensive bill of goods. We were all told this: "Go to college, get a good job. Earn money. Everything will be fine." No it's not. Or maybe it's because I majored in something I actually liked and not something that bored me out of my mind. I had a friend who majored in something that would guarantee her a good job. That's all well and good but she wasn't happy with it. It wasn't what she wanted to do or enjoyed. It didn't make her excited. It made her stressed. She has a good job now but I can't tell you if she will be happy in the long run. That's something she'll have to determine.
Stupidly, I majored in something that I loved. Something that made me excited to go to class, to write papers, to discuss and debate. It was a sensible major, one that conceivably get me a job after earning a master's degree. So I guess we'll see about that in a year. But am I happy with my decision five years after I made it? By and large, I think I'm not. I'm not because it was safe. That doesn't negate the fact that I enjoyed studying what I did or cause me to enjoy it any less because I still do like politics and international relations but truth be told, if I had it to do over again and was fearless in the face of job prospects I wouldn't have majored in it. I would have followed my gut instinct and said "I want to be a writer". And an English major I would have become.
7.14.2010
Things Just Happen
I filed my Visa application on Monday. As I did so, self-doubt started creeping back in. Am I doing the right thing? I know that I really shouldn't wait any longer because I'm starting to feel as though my life hasn't really begun. It's like I keep waiting for something and that something doesn't ever come or happen. But I suppose a lot of life is like that - planning and preparing for things that can't or won't come about due to circumstances that, by and large, are out of our control.
I'm not a big believer in fate. I think things just happen, for good or for bad. Things. Just. Happen. But I do give a little weight to the whole "meant to be" notion of life. I'd like to think there was a reason I didn't get into law school or Brown or wherever. I'd really like to believe that there is some reason for me to be packing up my life and moving to another country. What is it that I'm supposed to discover? Where is it that I'm supposed to go? What am I to do with this incredible opportunity? Not squander it away, I get, but otherwise is this a chance to become who I am meant to be?
Life is all about discovery, and I don't think that we are stagnate once we reach "adulthood". Who is to define what adulthood is anyway? I don't feel like an adult yet, despite my age and the degree that tells me otherwise. We should constantly reach and redefine and develop and progress as we age. My personality at 18 going in to college is a lot different than my personality is now at 24. Some say college is about finding out who you are. My experience was that college is about finding out who you are not. It was about embracing my inherent nerdiness and to stop apologizing for if not being the smartest person in the room then wanting to be the smartest person in the room. One of my proudest moments of my college career was when I realized that I was the one who threw the curve in my history class because of my grade on an exam.
Though the ratio of confidence to doubt about what could become 'Misadventures in Becoming an Expat' is growing in the confidence column, I still have room for about 40% doubt. Mostly it is centered around what happens when I'm handed that degree and I'm back to square one on the job situation. I appreciate that there are people who are and will be worse off because of this economic downtown than I ever will be because of my education, yet a part of me panics every time I so much as think about trolling for a job again. I don't think things will be any better fifteen months from now. But you never know. I could end up with the job of my dreams (I'm looking at you NBC News). I could end up with what I have dreamed of all along. Then again, I could end up with nothing but a piece of paper worth only my sweat and tears and $35,000. I can't plan for anything. I can only hope and wish and daydream because things just happen.
I'm not a big believer in fate. I think things just happen, for good or for bad. Things. Just. Happen. But I do give a little weight to the whole "meant to be" notion of life. I'd like to think there was a reason I didn't get into law school or Brown or wherever. I'd really like to believe that there is some reason for me to be packing up my life and moving to another country. What is it that I'm supposed to discover? Where is it that I'm supposed to go? What am I to do with this incredible opportunity? Not squander it away, I get, but otherwise is this a chance to become who I am meant to be?
Life is all about discovery, and I don't think that we are stagnate once we reach "adulthood". Who is to define what adulthood is anyway? I don't feel like an adult yet, despite my age and the degree that tells me otherwise. We should constantly reach and redefine and develop and progress as we age. My personality at 18 going in to college is a lot different than my personality is now at 24. Some say college is about finding out who you are. My experience was that college is about finding out who you are not. It was about embracing my inherent nerdiness and to stop apologizing for if not being the smartest person in the room then wanting to be the smartest person in the room. One of my proudest moments of my college career was when I realized that I was the one who threw the curve in my history class because of my grade on an exam.
Though the ratio of confidence to doubt about what could become 'Misadventures in Becoming an Expat' is growing in the confidence column, I still have room for about 40% doubt. Mostly it is centered around what happens when I'm handed that degree and I'm back to square one on the job situation. I appreciate that there are people who are and will be worse off because of this economic downtown than I ever will be because of my education, yet a part of me panics every time I so much as think about trolling for a job again. I don't think things will be any better fifteen months from now. But you never know. I could end up with the job of my dreams (I'm looking at you NBC News). I could end up with what I have dreamed of all along. Then again, I could end up with nothing but a piece of paper worth only my sweat and tears and $35,000. I can't plan for anything. I can only hope and wish and daydream because things just happen.
7.06.2010
BNA to LHR via Boston. Departs September 21. So that should be simple enough, right? Three airports, one airline. Same coming home in December for Christmas. Not a big deal.
However, to avoid paying an astronomically outrageous price for a one-way ticket I did a little shopping around. The trip back to London won't be nearly as much fun. Southwest was running some great specials and they now fly to New York. Perfect. Well, almost perfect; they fly to LaGuardia, which is not an international airport. But the ticket was too cheap to pass up so I booked a one-way to LGA. Then I found a great deal with IcelandAir on Priceline - $400. Awesome. Now my one-way back to Britain cost half what my round trip did.
What it takes to get to London in January: six airports, five cities, three countries, two airlines, and one cross-borough bus...is apparently what it will take to get me back to school.
In other traveling news, my friend Zach is pretty sure he's coming to visit. I get about six weeks off between second term and third and we think it's the perfect time to do a little gallivanting around western Europe. We've decided Germany is to be our prime target though he really wants to make a stop in Amsterdam (I think it's because pot is legal there). After a long phone conversation about things we've always wanted to do, Zach did a search on Bing...for, wait for it, "best concentration camps". Only because I know him so well do I know what he actually meant. Bing.com, I'm sure, was thinking "Go to hell". Despite his lack of cultural awareness and attempts at a British accent, I'm certain we'll have fun. In fact, I don't know if there is another person I'd consider spending an entire week in a foreign country with. So I think we'll 'Amazing Race' the hell out this trip.
However, to avoid paying an astronomically outrageous price for a one-way ticket I did a little shopping around. The trip back to London won't be nearly as much fun. Southwest was running some great specials and they now fly to New York. Perfect. Well, almost perfect; they fly to LaGuardia, which is not an international airport. But the ticket was too cheap to pass up so I booked a one-way to LGA. Then I found a great deal with IcelandAir on Priceline - $400. Awesome. Now my one-way back to Britain cost half what my round trip did.
What it takes to get to London in January: six airports, five cities, three countries, two airlines, and one cross-borough bus...is apparently what it will take to get me back to school.
In other traveling news, my friend Zach is pretty sure he's coming to visit. I get about six weeks off between second term and third and we think it's the perfect time to do a little gallivanting around western Europe. We've decided Germany is to be our prime target though he really wants to make a stop in Amsterdam (I think it's because pot is legal there). After a long phone conversation about things we've always wanted to do, Zach did a search on Bing...for, wait for it, "best concentration camps". Only because I know him so well do I know what he actually meant. Bing.com, I'm sure, was thinking "Go to hell". Despite his lack of cultural awareness and attempts at a British accent, I'm certain we'll have fun. In fact, I don't know if there is another person I'd consider spending an entire week in a foreign country with. So I think we'll 'Amazing Race' the hell out this trip.
6.15.2010
15 Weeks
I leave in 15 weeks. September 22 (or thereabouts). If I could phrase this more elegantly, I would but shit's gettin' real now. I bought new luggage this weekend, a duffel bag so large that I could fit into it comfortably in the fetal position. I dread to think how heavy the thing is going to be when it's crammed full of clothes and shoes and other things I think I can't live without.
My dvd collection keeps growing at an alarming rate and I fear I may have to leave some behind. I'm trying to determine which movies I can't live without (my mom would say all of them). However, Amazon.com one-click shopping is not making this any easier. I keep buying seasons of Alias, 30 Rock, Gilmore Girls, Entourage and The Golden Girls because I will miss them like friends. I dread to think of leaving the States without Liz, Jack, and Kenneth the Page. Or Vince, Ari and Drama. Not having Lorelai or Rory to keep me company. Especially when the only British television I'm comfortable with is the exports we're got here.
I tend to think of myself as a bibliophile, bookworm, book nerd, whatever. I have three bookcases overflowing with all types of books - fiction, drama, poetry, non-fiction, you name it. I own more books on the Kennedy clan than any reasonable person should. All the Harry Potter books - both British and American editions. All will be left behind and with great sadness. But I cannot, cannot, cannot, bring myself to purchase a Kindle. I won't do it. It's not a book. It never will be. I'm on the computer enough to know that my eyes couldn't take gazing at the tiny screen very long or enjoy a book that way. So I'll have to leave behind all but a few selected tomes that will fit into my backpack. There are too many favorites to choose so I think my course of action, my plan of attack, for this the most difficult of packing decisions will be...to simply buy some new books. Just so I won't have to choose.
My dvd collection keeps growing at an alarming rate and I fear I may have to leave some behind. I'm trying to determine which movies I can't live without (my mom would say all of them). However, Amazon.com one-click shopping is not making this any easier. I keep buying seasons of Alias, 30 Rock, Gilmore Girls, Entourage and The Golden Girls because I will miss them like friends. I dread to think of leaving the States without Liz, Jack, and Kenneth the Page. Or Vince, Ari and Drama. Not having Lorelai or Rory to keep me company. Especially when the only British television I'm comfortable with is the exports we're got here.
I tend to think of myself as a bibliophile, bookworm, book nerd, whatever. I have three bookcases overflowing with all types of books - fiction, drama, poetry, non-fiction, you name it. I own more books on the Kennedy clan than any reasonable person should. All the Harry Potter books - both British and American editions. All will be left behind and with great sadness. But I cannot, cannot, cannot, bring myself to purchase a Kindle. I won't do it. It's not a book. It never will be. I'm on the computer enough to know that my eyes couldn't take gazing at the tiny screen very long or enjoy a book that way. So I'll have to leave behind all but a few selected tomes that will fit into my backpack. There are too many favorites to choose so I think my course of action, my plan of attack, for this the most difficult of packing decisions will be...to simply buy some new books. Just so I won't have to choose.
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